Game Changer

Babies naturally practice self care and preservation better than most adults. They eat when they are hungry. They sleep when they are tired. They laugh at the little things. They cry when they need to cry (and sometimes when they don't). Even though they may not understand it, babies allow their young lives to progress in slow stages. While they go through these stages, they are gentle with themselves in understanding that it is a slow process to change and growth. They take baby steps. I am at the point in my recovery from hip surgery where I am literally learning how to walk again after being on crutches for over 6 weeks. My legs are weak and tired. My muscles are easily strained. I am taking baby steps because my body won't allow me to do much more right now. Despite the weakness and pain that I feel and recognize, I have a strong desire to throw my remaining crutch on the ground and start running! I have learned that is often how many things go as I move into

The biggest challenge I have faced in my recovery from hip surgery has not been the inability to walk, the difficulty doing any task, or even the pain.  The biggest challenge in this season has been the lack of intentional prayer time with our Lord.  When I am in the midst of a battle (whether it is spiritual, physical, mental, or emotional), I struggle to feel as though I am seeking God in the fullest way possible. I expect myself to enter the Lord's presence when I am struggling in the same way I do when I am in a place of joy and peace.  In some ways, this is not a realistic expectation:  God wants me to come to Him as I am. He wants to embrace every part of me and love every part of me. He knows that as there are shifts in my physical world, there are also shifts in my heart and mind. In the midst of those shifts, good and bad, I come to the Lord with different desires, needs, and levels of energy. The way that I prayed in my previous season does not have to be the

In the beginning stages of this hip injury that I have been dealing with, I chose a word to focus on in my life and prayer for the entire year.  Reliance. If you haven't heard of the Abiding Together podcast then you definitely need to check it out! One of the podcast episodes I listened to over the summer was about praying for a word to focus on for a year. In order to ask God to reveal this word, we need to think about the deepest struggles on our heart and open ourselves up to the Lord's grace.  As I was driving a long distance, frustrated and in pain, I listened to this podcast. My intention was to take some intentional time to sit with the Lord in order to find out what He may be calling me to focus on in prayer. Since God clearly has a sense of humor, He revealed my word to me in that moment.  Reliance. Not only did He reveal this word to me but He also showed me what accepting this word and the actions that bring it to life into my heart. I stopped

Little joys are those things that bring us way more joy than it seems they should. The small things that give us bigger faith, exactly when we need it most. Things we may never tell other people about... Because they wouldn't understand why it brings us joy. But things we know Jesus is smiling and even laughing about with us. My little joys in this season of recovery: Making a 3-pointer in the trash can because it's way easier than crutching across the room Seeing Howie (my roommate's dog) run into the house as I'm in need of puppy kisses Making funny videos for my students while wearing 10 scrunchies and a blonde wig Answering a phone call that it turns out I really needed Eating Chick-fil-a not just once but two days in a row Getting weekly cards from my students Praying on the phone with a random lady at my doctor's office Playing pranks on and with my roommates Having a physical therapist that goes the extra mile for me in

Saint Therese of Lisieux wrote, "For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy." I first read some of Saint Therese's writings about joy in suffering last year during my first year of teaching. I had a cold at the time so what this concept meant to me was thanking God for the gift of a sore throat as the pain united me more closely with the suffering of Christ! A very simple yet powerful way of approaching suffering. Now that I am in the midst of more serious trial than a cold, having joy in the midst of my suffering has been easier said than done. I am 2 weeks into my hip surgery recovery. I miss my students and the joy they bring me. I miss being able to move and stay busy. I miss walking. It is easy in these times to fall into a state of depression and desolation. I am facing that now as I struggle to enjoy the same things I used to enjoy, as I cry more than I care t

One of the main reasons I accepted the teaching job I currently have is because there is a 6:30 am Mass every day before school. I was not always able to go to daily Mass in college but the Eucharist is something that I desire more and more each time I receive. Now that I am almost a quarter of the way into my second year of teaching, daily Mass has become something that I not only desire but need in order to get through my day. Getting through my day, as a teacher, does not simply mean surviving. Getting through each day with the Eucharist inside of me means that I can shine Christ's light to each of my students even when I don't feel that joy myself. Part of the reflecting process leading up to my hip surgery has been realizing that I will not be able to go to daily Mass. I did not realize how much that would upset me. I desperately need Jesus, not just to be a good teacher but to be a good and faithful Child of God. When any of us walk out of a church anywhere in the world