No Relief
"God is faithful. God is good. He has delivered you from this before and He will do it again. Thank you for your goodness and faithfulness, Lord."
These are the words I have been repeating to myself in prayer over the past few weeks.
I have experienced a lot of physical illness and hardship in my life so it is something that I come to expect. When I am healthy, I wonder, "What will happen next? What will the next physical battle be?". That is not something that I had to train myself to do - it comes easily for me to expect the worse when that is what it feels like I face a lot of the time.
What I am now finding myself facing is the challenge, from the Lord, to train myself to expect His deliverance and faithfulness. Every time I have faced an illness or injury, the Lord, in His grace and mercy, has walked me through it and brought me back to a season of health. This time is no different.
This season of physical trial started with the flu a few weeks ago. I suddenly became very exhausted and ill. The Lord used that week of forced rest to give me the grace to see an end to the suffering while I was in the midst of it. He allowed me to use that time to fully rest - mind, body, and spirit. After I recovered from the flu, I experienced a setback in my recovery from hip surgery. I was in a great amount of pain after getting to a point in physical therapy where I was ready to graduate. It turned out that my pelvis had rotated and that caused an injury to my hip flexor that surrounds the joint I had surgery on. God bless my PT - she just can't get rid of me! God gave me the grace of relief in both of these situations, only to prepare me for the current battle I face.
This past Sunday was the beginning of a 4-day, non-stop physical trial. For 4 days, I had no relief from the head and neck symptoms that started Sunday morning. Nothing the doctors, neurologist, or ER staff could do gave me any relief from the pain and pressure. They did blood work, a CT scan, and a spinal tap during my second ER trip this week but nothing seemed to be helping.
No relief is a game changer that makes you feel absolutely helpless.
"God is faithful. God is good. He has delivered you from this before and He will do it again. Thank you for your goodness and faithfulness, Lord."
Non-stop I felt pain and sickness. Non-stop I prayed to the Lord, begging Him to give me more grace and strength.
At this point, I still don't know exactly what is wrong with my head. I don't know if the bit of relief I have now will last. I don't know if my symptoms will come back or if the medications will work.
I do know that God is faithful and that He is good. I do know that He has delivered me from every hardship I have faced. I do know that He constantly offers relief to my soul, even when there may be no relief from the pain.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." -2 Corinthians 4:16
While I have experienced a lack of relief from bodily pain, I have also experienced no "relief" from God's unfailing and unwavering presence. He is relentless in His pursuit of me and in His gift of grace and comfort.
No relief is a game changer.
These are the words I have been repeating to myself in prayer over the past few weeks.
I have experienced a lot of physical illness and hardship in my life so it is something that I come to expect. When I am healthy, I wonder, "What will happen next? What will the next physical battle be?". That is not something that I had to train myself to do - it comes easily for me to expect the worse when that is what it feels like I face a lot of the time.
What I am now finding myself facing is the challenge, from the Lord, to train myself to expect His deliverance and faithfulness. Every time I have faced an illness or injury, the Lord, in His grace and mercy, has walked me through it and brought me back to a season of health. This time is no different.
This season of physical trial started with the flu a few weeks ago. I suddenly became very exhausted and ill. The Lord used that week of forced rest to give me the grace to see an end to the suffering while I was in the midst of it. He allowed me to use that time to fully rest - mind, body, and spirit. After I recovered from the flu, I experienced a setback in my recovery from hip surgery. I was in a great amount of pain after getting to a point in physical therapy where I was ready to graduate. It turned out that my pelvis had rotated and that caused an injury to my hip flexor that surrounds the joint I had surgery on. God bless my PT - she just can't get rid of me! God gave me the grace of relief in both of these situations, only to prepare me for the current battle I face.
This past Sunday was the beginning of a 4-day, non-stop physical trial. For 4 days, I had no relief from the head and neck symptoms that started Sunday morning. Nothing the doctors, neurologist, or ER staff could do gave me any relief from the pain and pressure. They did blood work, a CT scan, and a spinal tap during my second ER trip this week but nothing seemed to be helping.
No relief is a game changer that makes you feel absolutely helpless.
"God is faithful. God is good. He has delivered you from this before and He will do it again. Thank you for your goodness and faithfulness, Lord."
Non-stop I felt pain and sickness. Non-stop I prayed to the Lord, begging Him to give me more grace and strength.
At this point, I still don't know exactly what is wrong with my head. I don't know if the bit of relief I have now will last. I don't know if my symptoms will come back or if the medications will work.
I do know that God is faithful and that He is good. I do know that He has delivered me from every hardship I have faced. I do know that He constantly offers relief to my soul, even when there may be no relief from the pain.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." -2 Corinthians 4:16
While I have experienced a lack of relief from bodily pain, I have also experienced no "relief" from God's unfailing and unwavering presence. He is relentless in His pursuit of me and in His gift of grace and comfort.
No relief is a game changer.
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